To view the speech on YouTube use the link provided below to watch on that platform. Introduction starts at 58:30.
The following is the transcript of my faculty address at the Holland Hall commencement on May 25th, 2020. Note that the [purple] text represents a part of the speech where a sound effect was played to enhance the address. I hope you find as much value in my words as I received being selected by the class of 2022 to speak to them on their big day.
Class of 2022 – Episode 10 – A New Hope
Good evening Holland Hall!
First, class of 2022, the graduating class of the year in which we celebrate 100 years of holland hall history, my thanks for this unique opportunity you have presented me with. I must confess that I was very surprised when you picked me to be your graduation speaker. I know that Dr. Bloom and Mr. Carey were also in the running. However, I guess the vote went away from important intellectual statements full of meaning, dry humor, and deep analysis and towards corny jokes and Star Wars quotes. So, you want a Jedi that can tell dad jokes… [lightsaber igniting]
This evening, I would like to reflect on you all as a class and recount some experiences from my life journey so far. The advice and observations that I will share have helped me reframe and change my situation, and I hope they can also help you, regardless of where the road takes you next.
Now you know that I like to make jokes in chemistry class, although they don’t always get a good reaction! So, I found some graduation dad jokes for you…
What did the lightbulb say to his son when he was receiving his diploma?
You have a very bright future ahead of you.
How do tall people graduate?
At the top of their class!
So, when I think about where you all are in your journey and all the different emotions you must be feeling, I can’t help but think back to the morning I woke up in London on the day that I was flying to the US to start my freshman year at Boston University. Boston was already an interesting choice for me, given that whole tea party incident, but I was hoping the Bostonians would let bygones be bygones.
But probably the biggest thought in my mind was…oh no, what have I done? I have not thought this whole “going to another country” thing all the way through! Or, as C3PO would put it… [“we are doomed” C3PO] …
And I suspect many of you will have various moments like that over the summer and perhaps well into next year. But that is completely normal when facing unknown and uncertain situations. And ultimately, I got on that plane. And then somehow, I end up here, giving a graduation speech at an Episcopal Independent School in Tulsa, Oklahoma… where the wind comes sweeping down the plain…
And that’s why we’re here tonight. You have made it this far and you are about to get this piece of paper – your graduation diploma. My dad always told me that you are always working towards pieces of paper. High school diploma, college degree, graduate degrees, or technical qualifications, and the pieces of paper will continue.
But you probably have already realized that it’s not really about pieces of paper, it’s about the processes, competencies, relationships, character, and passions that you develop along the journey.
And on that journey, life will offer some twists and turns. How else would a young English lad end up teaching for the last nineteen years at Holland Hall? (I am this close to my 20-year lampshade!) Those twists and turns will bring victories and losses along the way. The victories that you achieve will bring you a sense of accomplishment. The losses will bring you pain and sadness. But your character and your relationships with each other, and with those that you will meet along the way, will carry you through.
The important thing is to frame the difficult times in terms of what lesson you are learning. As the author Wayne Dyer puts it, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” So, if the difficult times bring you pain, then that pain has meaning and can be transformative in a positive way if channeled correctly.
And the last few years have definitely qualified as a difficult time. About a year ago, my chemistry class, made up of many of you, gave me this periodic table of the elements model. It has a sample of each element enclosed in glass (don’t worry, they didn’t include the radioactive ones!). You all seemed to know that I was having a tough time, and this beautiful and thoughtful gift made me feel appreciated.
And that feeling of being appreciated helped me change my focus from my aggravation at the plexiglass and seating charts and lunch duty to remembering how lucky we were to be able to be in school together in person. This gift changed the way I was looking at the current situation and reminded me the situation was one I should be thankful for rather than resentful of. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
And if you think about it, each of you is like an element on the periodic table. You are each unique with your own behaviors and character. But while you each shine individually, it is when you work together that you really bring your class to life and our community thrives. Like ions and atoms, sometimes you give, sometimes you receive, and other times you share. But most of all, you have worked together to bring value to others.
Your class has made remarkable contributions to the school. You have expanded the student council, won state championships, performed on this stage, produced paintings and sculptures, run morning meetings, written impossibly long essays, and taken challenging AP exams. You have established environments of inclusion and pushed us to have tough conversations. You have differences in who you are, but you celebrate each other’s gifts, personalities, and talents. You are servant leaders who have paid attention to leaving a legacy here, by fostering culture and mentoring the next class of seniors.
Whether striving in the classroom, leading your teams, creating art, or running student government, you are not content to just reach the goal. You look for ways to exceed expectations at every turn. Despite challenging academic schedules, you have the ability to keep the plates spinning and handle the pressure to keep moving forward while acting in a manner that demonstrates your values.
We have been impressed with your leadership and resilience during this unprecedented time. Your experience in high school has been far from the norm, but that has not slowed you down.
Throughout the difficulties of the pandemic, you have remained positive, flexible, and most of all been inclusive and cared for each other. [this is the way Mandalorian effect]
We have seen you as a class reframe the context of the pandemic and take the lead in bringing us back together as a community – you have changed the way we looked at things, and the things we were looking at changed.
And this reframing is a critical life skill. You all know I’m into computer science, and I was recently listening to a podcast called Algorithms At Work. This episode focused on a programmer who had been a part of creating Google Earth. He described how early in his career he thought the only limit to the pace of innovation was the time it took programmers to develop the code. But in practice, even though the programmers were creating tons of code, the project still wasn’t coming together as they intended.
It turned out that when the programmers tried to merge their respective components, the different pieces of code wouldn’t work together and clashed as things became more complex. As a result, the programmers discovered that communicating with each other before and during the process was the most important part of creating a working system. And the lack of communication was what turned out to be the limiting factor [C3PO – I am fluent in over six million forms of communication] [R2D2 chirp]
Restructuring their communications processes allowed them to be successful, but it required the ability to step back and look at the problem in a different way. “When you change the way, you look at things, the things you look at change.”
This changing of perspective can also help you keep going even when you’d really rather give up – another necessary life skill. Most of you know that I have been rowing since I was a wee nipper back at Kingston Grammar School. The summer before my senior year, I was selected for a development camp composed of the top high school rowers in the nation. The coaches at the camp were tasked with choosing the best athletes for the Great Britain junior national rowing team.
We were rowing in four-person boats over a distance of 1000m to 1500m. Our coaches kept racing us and switching people between crews to try to find the fastest combinations. It was the third day of the trials and I was exhausted and ready to quit.
I called my father, and I told him that I was mentally and physically exhausted. [Millennium Falcon hyperdrive failing sound]
He said something to me that has stayed with me since then, and I will share it with you now.
In his earlier years, my father was active in the hiking and mountain climbing community. He told me that it is essential to acknowledge and appreciate how far you’ve come once you get near the peak of a mountain. He explained that you are usually feeling the most exhausted when you’re close to the peak and close to meeting your goal. Recognizing the distance that you have traveled and acknowledging your progress could give you the strength to push through and get to the summit.
These words were just what I needed to hear at that particular point in time.
They helped me reframe the next day’s seat races as just the final step in a journey that had started years before. And acknowledging all of the work I had done up to that point made the effort to complete one more day of seat racing seem relatively small.
The next day, after several pieces, I was switched with Fred Scarlet, a fine chap, who later on in his career rowed in the Great Britain Olympic eight that won a gold medal at the Sydney Olympics in 2000.
We raced down the course [pod racing sound effect] and thanks to my new perspective and improved attitude, I fought all the way down.
It was close, but I ended up winning the seat race by a slight margin of 0.9 seconds.
In seat racing terms, anything less than two seconds is considered inconclusive. But that day, I was chosen over Fred Scarlet for the final spot on the Great Britain Junior national team. Because my dad had changed the way I was looking at the situation, my feelings about the situation had changed. Just when I felt exhausted and ready to give up, the wise words from my father taught me that I can find more strength if I acknowledge how far I’ve come.
I know that you all will face similar challenges as you embark on your journey in the world. Try to remember that you learn the most from the challenges and obstacles you face, but that you often have to look for a new perspective to find the lesson within the struggle. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
So here we are. My question to you is….
What do you have in common with the cylinders in the chemistry lab?
You are both graduated!
And one more…
What did the buffalo say to his kid as he headed off to college?
Bi-son!
It has been my distinct privilege and honor to serve as your faculty graduation speaker this evening.
Congratulations, class of 2022, you are a remarkable group of people. You have truly embraced the charge to “be the one” during Holland Hall’s centennial year.
You are set to fly, and like all things that we love, we must let go so that you can find your own way. This is your time, and our loss is another’s gain. It’s time to fire up the hyperdrive so that you can journey further and build a better future. [falcon going to hyperspace sound]
There is really only one thing left to say, and you might have guessed it….
